Chill, Not that Bad Afterall.

Hi! Surprisingly, I’m posting a second post for the day! Well, wasn’t really quite sure should I be happy bout it or what, as the reason brought me back blogging isn’t really a happy one.

I just have no one to talk to. wtf.

#sadcase #foreveralone

Honestly, I’m really sad that the only group of people I can turn to when I have problems is my family. And my family, being majorly lovely, will always try to help me out. I thank god for giving me a happy family with the dearest parents, caring brothers and a superhero boyfriend. I always wanted a sister, and God gave me Evelyn. Life is nothing without every single one of them. Well, not saying that I always needa rely on people (which most of the time I do), just that the feeling of belonging meant a lot to me. I find myself being an extremely insecure person I admit. I constantly need people to show me that they love me to feel secured. If someone whom I think is important to me stop concerning or talking to me in a very cold tone, I will get nervous as time goes when nothing has changed. Then I will start asking myself what did I do wrong. At this point of time, I’m extremely fragile that every single sentence spoken to me will be further, further and further analysed to every possible answer that I could possibly get. I ended up over thinking and sometimes, making situation worst. Paranoid, it is. I’m afraid that people whom I put first don’t treat me the same way as I treat them, because they’re so important to me that I’m afraid of losing any single one of them, afraid that they will leave me behind, and I’m just another come-and-go friend. No one will ever want to be a come-and-go friend when all you’ve done is putting effort into the relationship. Even if there were some hard feelings, they all happened out of love.

I wish I could have more self-confidence on every single thing that I’m doing, but I will never fail to doubt myself whenever chances let me to. Another fear of mine is the fear of being replaced; which is the most fucked-up feeling ever. Being replaced means that you’re no longer important any more as someone has came in and replaced your position. Also, another majorly fucked-up feeling which I’m currently feeling, is that you know you will never ever replace someone. I don’t know if I would have the chance of replacing someone totally, but as what I can feel now, I have zero chances. I want to mean a world to the one that is world to me. But as I said, being extremely insecure, I don’t even know if I have the ability to mean a world to somebody.

If you’re curious, I honestly do not know why I’m still doubting the love that is given to me for the past few months. Doubting whether the whole thing is true; doubting whether every single sentenced said to me was true.

Maybe, maybe it’s not about determining whether the whole thing is true, or it’s just another pile of lies, maybe it’s about living in the truth and lies in life, in whichever ways that make you happy. Because life is too short; because faith asks us to do so; because trust is all we need.

With trust, everything will be fine. When you think you’re miserable when deciding, all you’ve got to do is to trust the person you think is worth trusting. Because in the end, rumours will be flying all around and without trust, you will lose something that you’ve been holding on all these while, and there you’ll go, back to zero again.

Feeling much better

Shanon x.

What the hell?!

Hello mellow! Currently blogging through WordPress Apps for iPhone. Wuahahahaha. I’m sorry for the lack of updates but recently I’ve been too busy. Yes, I know, it’s the same reason again, and you’d probably be like ‘Sian busy again every time busy.’ I’m sorry but it’s true :’) I guess I have zero readers already D:

Okay. So, I haven’t been blogging at all lately as all kinds of tests and assignments were rushing down on me I could barely have much me-time. Even if I have it wasn’t meant for blogging hehe. Aiyah won’t be explaining la you won’t care to know also.

Anyways, my favorite festive of the year, Chinese New Year is in 6 days time. I should be very excited by now but too bad I’m still stuck in Aussieland preparing for exams, which will be commencing in approx 9 days time D: fuuuuuuuuu. Buuuut, after exams means freedom, so it’s okay

Okay enough of crapping. Won’t be promising to blog more as I’m afraid I will fail doing so :p okie dokie see you again soon! (I promise lololol).

If you’re ready, like I’m ready :)

Aloha sweetpies!

Hello people! Currently blogging using my brother’s Macbook as I left my laptop back in Australia As I’ve been using windows for so many years, Mac is too high tech for me -_- hahahahaha was so confused. I wanted to transfer all my pictures from camera just now but it took me 15 mins to search for the right software to transfer -.- heh.

Went to SS15 just now and met up with Evelyn. She was having a two hours break so we had brunch together. Wanted to have Snowflakes after brunch but it was closed damn it! That’s exactly what happened yesterday when I went Damansara yesterday with Siewchin (Gonna update bout it later ). So instead of Snowflake we went Chatime. They’re selling ordinary bubble tea, nothing special. Wonder why those people are so obsessed with it. So anyways, met BoonHong and YenIn just now it’s good to see them again

I’m always very happy and excited to go Damansara everytime I come back from Australia simply because I’m so used to the environment there since I had my 4 years of high school in SriKDU. Going to Damansara made me feel like I’m going back to home, especially everytime I passed by SriKDU So this time, I dragged Siewchin along to Damansara and PLAYYY!

Fetched her and off we went to Dataran Sunway and had Chilley pan mee as our brunch Wanted to have Snowflakes after that but as I said it was closed, so we bought Tutti Frutti once we reached OU. Tutti Frutti is still the same, yummy and happy! Since we didn’t have anything to do, and were too poor to be able to shop whole day, we decided to go sing! Had 6 hours of Karaoke session and trust me, I almost killed my throat. I kept drinking water to save my burning throat after every SENTENCE I sang, and thus I was quite busy going in and out of the room to refill my drink, and to go to the toilet. heh heh. But it was so fun! and we paid RM20 to sing for 6 hours hua hua hua hua!!! Honestly I was kinda shock when I saw the bill stating RM20 HAHAHAHHAHA. Didnt expect it to be this cheap *shy*.

My new favorite accessory — Fox fur!!

Yes, it’s made by real fox fur according to the sales girl. The reason why I bought it in the first place it’s because it looks so much like Huski’s fur and I LOVE HUSKI DOGS Meanwhile it suits my bag So my brother bought it for me hehehe!!! So many random people keep looking at it and ask me where I bought it, LOL cute right!

Look at this stick! >:( hahahah she’s super skinny! hate her!

AHHHHH TVXQ! memories, memories :’)

After karaokeing we went SHOPPING I tried on every single piece that caught my eyes like a mad woman. As I spent quite alot I thought I bought many stuffs but end up I only bought 1 floral dress, 1 hoodie, 1 lace top, 3 headbands and 3 pairs of shoes. heh, now it sounds alot after I listed them out, opps! Was quite happy with what I bought

When we were shopping, I kept asking Chinchin if she’s hungry until she gone mad and say GO EAT LA GO EAT LA. HAHAHAHAHA!! So ganas people hungry only whaaatt! HAHAHAHA! Honestly, I don’t know what’s wrong with my stomach, I get hungry easily. Or maybe it’s not my problem, it’s HERS! She’s so crazy, when we were having our dinner and only started eating for not too long, she said :”I’m SO full already!”. I mean, the amount of food that made her feel SO full is ridiculous. She’s such a crazy stick. HAHAHAHA So after shopping we had our dinner at DELICIOUS!!!!! My all time favorite restaurant

“Shanon where you want to eat?”
“Delicious “
“Shanon where should we meet up for dinner?”
“Delicious “
“Shanon we should really meet up already!!! Where to meet? “
“Delicious “

HAHAHAAHHAHA! That’s what happen normally when friends asked me to meet up AND ask me where to meet. Jessie said Delicious paid me for doing this HAHAHAHA!

MUAHS :*

US

happily showing off her pants

Chinchin’s Smoked Salmon Angelhair

MY ALL TIME FAVORITE CARBONARA! which means CARBohydrate as well -.- heheh

So that’s basically what I’ve done yesterday. Going out with Chinchin is fun cause I can bullshit alot AHHAHAHAHAHA! And stupid girl if you see this, please stop acting shy the next time we meet thank you very much. hahaha

I have arhgree legs tyvm!

hehe

hahahahah! My goodness! Looking absolutely like a clown with the polka dots hoodie.
I look so scary.

Floral tube dress!
Okay this picture shows I was about to fall. -.-

Wanted a full-body shot for this dress so I decided to step on the lil chair that my grandma bought me when I was little. The chair actually comes with a table that teaches you A for Apple, B for Boy and so on! hahahaha.

take #2 and say CHEEEEEEESE

Okay gave up and get serious!

My very first lace top.

Headband #1,
I LOVE RIBBON HEADBANDS AND I HAVE TONS

Headband #2

The third one is in my bag but my bag is downstairs and I’m too lazy to get down, so no picture for that one It’s the same thing like the one above, just that its black with white polka dots

PINK SHOES! So sweet and cute :3

Lil’Black Shoes of mine! I always need to have a pair of black pumps and wear them with everything
Lovin’ black pumps cause they get along easily with almost everything that you wear
Since my old one spoilt, so I decided to get myself a new one!

————————

Did I say I went back to SriKDU to get my year book? I was so happy going back there! Everything was so familiar Even the guards remember me. I asked if they still recognise me and they said :” Of course, my ex-student!” HAHAHA! So cute right

Here are some snapshots of me inside the year book. The whole year book, only 5 pictures of myself. HAHAHAHHAHA #sad.

I love SriKDU :’)

First shot, me performing on stage heh heh.

5Dickens’10 Cheerleader! Love my classmates!

Mua class page! Theme: Forbes Magazine.
Designed by Bob and Pearlyn

I MISS SRIKDU AND MY FRIENDS

ALRIGHT! Finally done blogging. I shall sleep now! Meeting up with Eve again tomorrow and we are going to Pavillion! Imma happy girl yo! SNOWFLAKE NOM NOM NOMS!

Goodnight!

Thank Goodness, I’m still here :)

Muahs

Hello lovelies!

I am currently feeling weird. Was quite happy at first, but emo songs made me feel weird. hahahha

So trimester 2 started 5 weeks ago, and everything went on smoothly. I am quite happy with most of the thing that’s happening in my life right now not 100% happy, but 70% are good!

The subjects I’m taking this trimester are Maths, Law, Intercultural Business Communication and Marketing. I’m very happy with the subjects as well as the timetable. I have my classes starting earliest by 9am and latest by 11.30am, ending earliest at 11.30am and latest by 4pm. Since the subjects we are taking this trimester reduced to 4 (we used to take 5 per trimester), life’s really easy compared to before. I actually have more time to rot at home which I absolutely love! What I can say is I’m living in quite a good life nowww!

By the way, I’m gonna fly back to Malaysia again next Sunday and I am SO excited!!! I think I can be this happy everytime I’m back there it’s because that’s the only time I can play all day. But I guess I’m gonna exclude this trip cause I actually have only 1 week of holiday, and my mom suggested me to go back. Since it’s only a one week holiday, I suppose I have to stay home and do recap for the chapters. But oh wells, in my world, playing always come first.

The reason why I said I’m living in a good life it’s because I’m spending quality time with myself. Yes, muaself
You know, I’m so fucking bored of dramas, so why not just stay home and face only myself? I wouldn’t hate myself. Therefore no dramas. In conclusion I love myself. HAHAHAHA that’s abit retarded. What to do, I only interact with myself for the past few weeks.

Okay those above are exaggerated.  Now, my only close friend here is Keith the Bella. Reason? He’s from Malaysia hahahhaha. Yeah Keith that’s the only part you’re worth being a friend. LOLOL. Okay be serious. Keith is like my brother, honestly, like my real-blood-related-brother that are in Malaysia. My brothers always listen to my craps and try to lead me to the right path. Keith is doing the same thing too! And he’s probably the only one I can talk to among my college friends. Others are meeh. Like seriously, meeeeeeeaaahh. The reason why he is Keith the Bella it’s because Bella is his dog, and Bella is a female dog. What is a female dog? :O A female dog is known as Bitch Conclusion, Keith=Bella=Bitch.
HAHAHAHAHAHA.

I really miss having a whole bunch of friends, no drama no nothing, just plain happiness and you can feel sincerity among each other. That’s what friends really are for right? Bring happiness to each other? Treat each other sincerely down from the heart? But I don’t think that’s what happening here :S All I can say is, cultural difference. Or maybe it’s just those particular group of people. I just couldn’t wait to go Uni, and I believe everything will change from that day onwards!

I couldn’t wait for anything that’s gonna happen in the future! Too sick of my current life. Current life as in current social life. Other than that I’m all fine! For example, I think my life is beautiful whenever I’m staying in my room alone doing whatever I like; whenever I’m cooking; whenever I’m having hot shower; whenever I’m pampering my hair; whenever I’m walking on the Melbourne street feeling so so so blessed and grateful that I have a chance to study overseas and whenever I talk to my family and people who are important to me I believe my twitter followers or blog readers think that I always growl and complain bout possibly every single thing around me. But you know, tweeting and blogging are somewhat the only two ways I can release my anger, or most of the time, I tweet for the sake of tweeting it. That’s how you probably keep your twitter account alive, right? If not, what’s the point of having a twitter account if you don’t keep’em alive? Well I somehow realise I complain waaay too much and I might annoy people, so I started to tweet bout nice stuff starting a few days ago! For example, I’m sucha kind witch.

The only thing that I couldn’t wait for, and is gonna happen real soon is going back to Malaysia. I couldn’t wait to go back to Malaysia! Gonna meet up with Evelyn everyday and we gonna go everywhere for FOOD! There’s so much food I wanna eat. Food like Bahkutteh, PanMee, Steamboat, Bananaleaf Rice, Hawker food etc etc etc MAKE ME DROOOOOL. Sigh, I truly love Malaysia! In fact, I will love Malaysia even more if the government is fair hehehehheehe opps! This trip I’m going back I wish I can go clubbing for the second time of my life. HEHEH. Whaaaaat! People 18 years old alreadyyy mah, I can go in without people bringing me, what a happy thing to say! LOL. Well, I remember the last time I went ‘clubbing’ was the beginning of the year? I honestly think clubs are not the right place for me. Reason #1, smoke. I HATE SMOKES. I couldn’t breathe normally when people smoke in front or somewhere near me. I face breathing difficulties and feels like I’m dying everytime I inhale cigga smoke. No joke. Okay, reason #2, what should I do when I club? Drink? Dance? Flirt? -.- Well, if I drive I won’t drink? But drinking is fine for me but dance? eerrr, I feel awkward when I dance I don’t know how to dance. I mean, the only dance I’ve learnt was Ballet, how to Ballet in clubs?! Errrr.. I’ll leave that to you. So flirt? Gah that’s just not me.

So you ask, ‘Then why you want to go clubbing this time if you don’t know what to do there?’ Well, I believe clubbing isn’t everything about drinking, dancing and flirting. I wanna spend time with my friends And so you ask, ‘Why not go mamak then? -_-’ You know, we are teenagers, and no longer a teen after 2 years. What I meant was, I think clubbing with your close friends is part of your growing life. Make it simple, when you’re still in primary, you hang out with your friends in school, or parties at home (a very lame party ofcourse). And then you proceed to secondary, you hang out with your friends in Malls. So college? Clubs. Ofcourse, we are still free to have parties at home, shopping in malls and going to your friend’s house just like what you’ve been doing for the past few years since primary. What I was trying to say is that clubbing is just one of the new spot you can hang out, and a spot where you’re allowed to hang out with your friends as an Eighteen-year-old, cause you’re over the age boundary. But you need to do and make things right. For me, I have to go clubbing with friends or people that I truly trust, that you know you can rely on them, and best is that they can rely on you. Atleast now you’re safer than going clubbing with friends that you barely know, and go for the sake of going just to show that you’re cool cause you club. The first time I went clubbing, I went with Evelyn and my ex-boyfriend. People I can trust? Yeap.

So that’s what I basically think about going on a club. I wouldn’t limit myself to not even step into clubs just cause the first impression people tend to give is that, people who club are flirty and immature I guess? I believe we should experience life to the fullest when we have the ability to, as long as you don’t cross the line.

Conclusion: CAN’T WAIT TO GO CLUBBING WITH EVELYN

wahahhahaha.

shit I’m hungry

Aight I should sleep already. Promise I will update frequently! ( and this is the common lie between bloggers )

tata!

As Flowers Bloom.

❤

Hello people! How do you guys find my sidebaaaar? HEH even though there’s only few things there, but I used 4 hours to do it. Yes I know, so unproductive and inefficient. But WordPress is seriously giving me a hard time D: I couldn’t access the CSS code (the html codes of your blog layout ) unless I pay. And I naively thought that changing wordpress.com to wordpress.org (by changing you’ll need to download this and that, upgrade this and that) so that I can manage my own blog. So I started searching the internet and youtube for the upgrading tutorials yesterday. Found out that the whole thing is actually quite complicated, so I gave up, thinking to do it today. So I woke up and continue editing, and end up I found out that using wordpress.org you actually need a web hosting site to host your blog, which means you have to pay $$$ ._. And by blogging through wordpress.org, you’ll need to backup your posts and everything, upgrade if there’s a new version of wordpress.org, handle the spams, heavy traffics etc etc etc ALL BY YOURSELF.

SIAO!

After realising I deleted everything -_-

So too bad I have to stuck with this template forever.

I woke up at 12 today, got myself ready and drove myself to High Street to have DIM SUM with Alice, Ling, Philip, Keith and Mao. The dim sum was so so, but they have really nice egg tarts Yet I still prefer the one at Rowville, they have the best 流沙包 and 烧卖 EVER. And best thing is that Rowville is just down the road near my house Well talking bout Dim Sum, even though I LOVE DIMSUM like a mad girl, yet I still haven’t found a restaurant for Dim Sum that I like most. None of them impressed me :/ If anyone of you know any nice dimsum place please tell me! That would be much appreciated hehehehe. But don’t tell me the one in Hong Kong kay -_- I got no money to purposely buy an air ticket and fly there just for the Dim Sums.

EGG TART

Since I ate quite alot (hehe), I came home and had my OAT HAHAHAHAHA! YES I AM STILL PROMOTING. -_- Took some pictures hehehehehehe.

CONTAINS ONLY 0.1 FAT D:

Pour, pour, pour your milk! Mix it with the Oat!

Shit, looking at the pictures making me hungry. ARGH. OH YA I’m meeting up Ling and Alice later! We’re gonna have 糖水 at Glen later! hehehehehehhehehehehheeee.

Alright that’s all for today! Gonna do my Maths now before I’m feeling sleepy and lazy again. HEHE.

CIAO!

Love,
Shanon Auyong.

Forgive, you’ll be happier. :)

I want to be the happy teenager again;
knowing there’s no happily ever after,
yet still a smilling,
laughing,
happy girl.

❤

Yellow mellow!

Was gonna change my blog layout, and I’ve seriously found one real cool website to actually edit the whole layout and I was so so happy! Cause the layouts inside were all damn cool. Then I started editing happily, and end up realising that its not even a layout for blogs -_- the layouts they provided are for web pages, not for blogs. Ahh so I have to cancel everything

So I’ve been quite busy lately. Just sat for both Macroeconomics and Management papers today. Macroeconomics were quite tough, but management was relatively easy. I thought I could manage Macroecons easily, but turned up I was over confident Still, I think my results will not be that disappointing *finger crossed*. And I have another Maths paper next Saturday. Maths maths, the only subject that I fear D: conclusion: no time to relax, keep practising maths! This maths paper will be the last class test for this semester, and after the Maths class test, I will be having my final exams a week after. *jeng jeng jengg*. So basically I have no time to relax. But since I can relax however I want after the finals, so should be alright! I’m going back to Malaysia the next day right after my paper! How exciting!!!

Since I slept quite late yesterday, I’m currently having a light headache. I think if I don’t sleep early today the headache is going to be worst. But actually I slept after I’m home from college (erh of course I did shower hehehehehe *grin*), which was nearly 6pm, and slept all the way to 10pm. Still I am feeling tired. Well was supposed to sleep straight till the morning but got waken up.

I went to the Coles and get myself some healthy food today! Went through internet yesterday and found out that Oat Bran is good for your digestive system, providing oats will help reducing your body cholesterols. So decided to buy, gonna do something with my weight Ever since I came to Australia, my weight is increasing slowly day by day. Got truly annoyed by it! ) I bought skim milk too! And I actually tried eating Oat Bran together with the milk, tastes not bad, not as bad as how I thought it would be. HEH. I don’t know bout the others brand of Oat Bran, but the one that I bought is very fine, it’s very powderish, but not as fine as powder of course. Comparing to other types of oats, this is relatively fine! So it’ll not be that gross to eat. Fyi, I never like oats, because I think they’re disgusting. But I realised it’s because oats that I had before are in separate small instant packaging. So you can’t really decide how you want to consume your oats. The one that I bought is not instant, it’s the original oat! SO NOW YOU CAN EAT OAT HOWEVER YOU WANT Mixing the oats into your main dishes. Or you can make pancake with it! Add it into your cereals! And etc etc. And thus, I bought two packs of 750g Oat Bran HEHE!

I always think that my life is so boring. And now I found the reason why… BECAUSE I DON’T HAVE A CAMERA!!!!!! Or should I rephrase it, BECAUSE I DON’T HAVE A GOOD QUALITY CAMERA!!!!! I brought my stupid digital camera which was a gift from my mom’s Japanese friend, and didn’t bring my DSLR. I TOTALLY REGRET!!!!! I was thinking of leaving the DSLR at home, so my family can take nice pictures if happens that they go travel. And end up they really did go travel, so I made the right choice to not bring. But not the right choice when I want to use it -_- SO, I decided to buy another small semi-pro cameraaa! hehehhehehehehe!! Well I shouldn’t say I DECIDED TO BUY, I should say I decided to convince my brothers to buy it for me hehehehehehhehe! Since my birthday is reaching *.* Shouldn’t be a problem heheheheheheh! Currently so desperate for a camera. YOU HAVE NO IDEA!! Want to put nice display picture or even upload few pictures of everything into blog also cannot. Damn palia. NO CAMERA NO LIFE T.T (speaking Malaysian English is truly love. hhahahahahha! Sounds more lively don’t you think so? )

I hope my brothers will be convinced heheheh!

Till then!

Loves,
Shanon Auyong;

yes, the heart is still not healing.
Not healing from everything.
I couldn’t wait any longer for it to heal, so imma just live crazily, and it will heal then.

This is Life.

I still remember how I was pampered by everyone around me,

Just like a little princess. 

Hello!

Finally I am back to blogging. I’ve been quite a lazy bump for the past few months to actually open my comp and blog. Well issues kept attacking me, and now I finally have my own very space to actually breath normally. It was hectic, till I almost die from suffocation. A bit too dramatic, but everything keeps flashing through my mind when I’m typing this. I will never ever forget who, what and where every single incident happened. What I wanted to say is, dear God, you’ve really played a trick on me. Never knew sincerity will end up bringing me more troubles, and show my stupidity to every single one who has involved in it. I couldn’t believe how fail I am, to actually have no one right now. Used to feel that I’m the luckiest girl ever, but now that’s totally the different case. The only thing I’m happy is that, my families are always there for me, no one can ever love me like how they really do. Others are all bullshit. Bullshit as in it won’t last long. This second you may feel loved, another second you’re like rubbish. I gave all I could have given, still things aren’t going the way I thought it would be. Well, that’s life. And that’s what make everyone a different individual. I won’t be blaming anyone. I never blamed anyone.

Now that I can see, everyone has moved on, and I shall move on, too. And this is why this blog is re-opened to public.

So, do I deserve a peaceful, happy and blessed life… now?